Taking time to create a bucket list of what you would like to explore or experience in intimacy is a great way to follow desire! Many might confuse intimacy with sex. Of course, sexual desires or wishes can be intimate. Intimacy can be any experience that leaves you feeling seen and heard.

Think About Senses

If an experience can be seen, felt, heard, smelled or tasted, it will probably have some element of intimacy. A guaranteed way to find these gems of desired intimacy, is to slow down. Slowing down the actions and movement helps our brains to slow down as well. The slowing of our thinking can help one notice what is pleasurable or not pleasurable.

How many times do we simply “drink water” because we are thirsty or know that we should? Consider this description of taking a drink from a glass of ice water:

The clear tall glass had the square ice cubes floating in water. The glass was placed close, in contrast to the dark blue tiles which lined the edge of the pool. The warm air was creating the droplets of condensation on the outside of the glass. I watched as they began to move towards the bottom of the glass, gathering together, creating small paths of liquid. I reached out, my warm hand wrapping around the wet coolness of the glass. Lifting the edge of the glass to my lips, I could feel the wetness touch, then as I swallowed, I could feel the cool water making its way down my central core.

Next, you could place this sensual drink of water into an intimate desire. It doesn’t have to be sexual! An intimacy bucket list experience might be having a small getaway vacation where the pool was custom made, had all the amenities you enjoy, and was just for you! Water, drinks, meals and snacks were all hand delivered as you requested.

Alone or Accompanied?

Design the intimacy bucket list with experiences alone as well as with others. Both options are valuable. Seeing yourself in a new way can be a powerful experience. Equally, sharing something important or impactful, can create a vulnerability and connection.

Spicy or Not?

As mentioned earlier, not all intimate moments need be sexual and many sexual experiences are intimate. Consider how important these sexy moments are to you and add the level of spiciness that you desire!


Add to your bucket list to create variety. Having little things to experience while you plan for the bigger items will keep you interested in your bucket list.


Make sure you take the time to celebrate and mark the items on your list! The ability to look back and have memories around these fun, close, vulnerable or connected experiences is a big part of enjoying life!

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