I am growing, transforming. Reflection over the past year is a way to appreciate just how much has happened. Transformation has deeply stirred my heart, mind and soul. Awareness fueled from tantric practice is creating a lens to see events as opportunities rather than obstacles. Here is a glance at the five experiences that created change in me this year.
COACHING PROGRAM CERTIFICATION
I attended a 7-month innovative immersive coaching program through OneTaste where I discovered how to use desire to guide clients to removing blocks in their lives. I took a deep look at OM, Orgasmic Meditation, the philosophical underpinnings and how to support and harness the power found in orgasm, the energy field that can fuel life at a euphoric level.
Another pivotal piece, was a deep examination of MY desire and what I REALLY wanted in my life. It was mighty uncomfortable to think about, speak aloud, and make plans around these seemingly foreign concepts that were coming from deep inside me. As a result, I also discovered a voice that was squeaky and ever so small in the beginning. It was my knowing, my intuition. This voice grew as I fed myself healthy doses of 12-step work, revelations through intimacy and found the glue that would show me how to begin forming my life from desire: connection.
LAUNCH OF A BUSINESS ABOUT TRANSFORMING!
This lead to the next significant life event in 2016! I launched my own business, Euphoria by Design! I have combined the desire-based coaching and OM training in addition to my 3 years of tantric lifestyle study with Kendal Williams to offer clients a uniquely powerful avenue for making changes in their lives. This business offers private and group coaching, communication games, workshops and experiential learning! Honestly, I find my days that I spend coaching clients some of the most fulfilling moments in my week.
This style of guidance is not a cookie cutter variety. I get the opportunity to work side by side with men and women as they find their truth hidden beneath the layers of blocks, excuses, shame, guilt, and ego-laden voices. Each session is a journey for them as well as myself! This style of coaching does not give answers and is quite different from the traditional therapy or friendly advice-giving. I ask a lot of questions and hold gorgeous space as others find the path that leads them to a better, more fulfilled, happier, productive and turned-on life!
EMPTY NEST, FULL HEART
Another great thing that changed me this year is watching my two amazing, talented, intelligent daughters usher their lives into adulthood! One has embarked on a graduate degree while the other young lady is following her path to college while discovering how to stay true to her calling in the arts profession. Yes, I am a very proud mom, yet, that is only the surface of how this is transforming me.
Watching these young ladies “leave the nest” gave me the opportunity to examine the kind of mother I want to be to adult daughters. How do I find the balance of being there for them, while allowing them to lead their independent lives? How do I love them in a way that encourages them to find and also follow their own intuitive voice? And the deepest work for me yet, is how do I see myself and what do I want in my life that will one day be the legacy that my daughters can be proud of?
In no particular order, because these events happened simultaneously over time, another transforming life event was me saying yes to a relationship with someone based on truth. I know, that sounds so cliche and simple, yet, it is some of the deepest consciousness work I have done! A relationship based on truth means that you live the truth all the time. To keep the highest level of integrity, we aim to do this as close to real time as possible. We agree to speak what we feel, what we want, what we dream, what we desire. We tell each other on a regular basis what we LIKE and DON’T LIKE about the relationship at that point in time! It is equally as difficult is to receive your partner’s truth, to listen and be thankful for the other person’s sharing.
This kind of relating creates deeper intimacy. It is a way to be seen and felt in ways that society has taught us are rude or impolite. Love is actually when I find the way to love myself first, even in a relationship. Learning to live and truly love in this way, makes no promises beyond now. Tomorrow is a new day with new paths to explore! If we spend energy gripping onto expectations, then we both stop growing. The transforming connection allows both partners to grow with the relationship.
And finally, an event that changed me this year was the Dallas Marathon because I crossed the finish line! I am a marathoner!! It was surprising at how the race was not as I planned or expected. I have spent a vacation recovering, healing and looking at the ways I wanted to judge myself so harshly.
As my tantra practice teaches me, there is a precious spot in my mind. It is here where I can stop, breathe, and be grateful for the lessons. I am a marathoner because I completed the race and covered my 26.2 miles! And I am a strong, healthy athlete and ready for the next pop of the starting gun!
As the last days and hours of 2016 wind down, I have changed. A lot. These life events are my blessings. I am looking forward to the new year and all the ways my transforming life will continue to unfold!