How do you ask for sex? How do you like to be asked? Let’s face it, unless it is a new steamy relationship, we simply must have more tools for creating sexual connection! Most women thrive on connection and emotional intimacy that creates arousal and leads to sexy times.

I listened as a female client shared how a partner came into the room where she was sitting. He sat down next to her and without a glance, said “wanna f**k?” I asked her how that felt and she replied, “I’d rather not have sex if it’s like this.”

The path to sex and orgasm for a man is linear and direct. Yet, for a female body, the path to orgasm is a curvy and somewhat unpredictable road. We don’t have a lot of good role models.  Most erotica and pornography show us women that are always ready to be penetrated. This is simply incorrect for most female bodies.  The average time for a woman’s body to be ready for penetrative sex can be from 20-45 minutes.

Knowing this, slowing down and engaging in connection over time will help a woman feel more like having a sexual encounter.  Creating ways to honor this difference in male and female orgasm can create more opportunities to ask for sex and get a resounding yes!

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