Hold Me, Touch Me

I close my eyes and recall the perfect embrace…
Where he knew exactly what I needed when our eyes met from across the crowded room.  The feeling of being taken into the arms of a lover, wrapped up and held close enough to feel body heat, yet gentle enough to feel the rise and fall of our breathing as it synced together.  This gentleness banishes my cares for a few precious moments and leaves me rejuvenated as we pull away.

I close my eyes and recall the perfect embrace…
As the precious baby cradled in my arms used her tiny perfect hand and found my finger.  As she wrapped her hand around my finger, I could feel the smooth, warm gentle pressure again my skin.  I opened my eyes, looked down, and met the gaze of two dark hungry eyes that felt like they were begging me for more!  Just a few more moments here, being still and memorizing each other’s faces.

I close my eyes and recall the perfect embrace…
As I feel tears burn my eyes my friend pulls me into her chest and holds my heaving body.  Saying nothing as I open and let the emotion pour out of me onto her.  She holds the back of my hair with her open hand, whispering that she understands.  I know that even when she is not physically there with me, she is with me, holding space for me until I can stand up again.

I close my eyes and recall the perfect embrace….
As I step out of my car from the long journey and my father is right there, ready to welcome me “home” to rest.  To be a child of any age, to be loved unconditionally, his calloused hands and rough whiskers touch me deeper than my surface level.  I can be seen and I don’t have to speak in this sacred  space.

Intimacy is being seen and being able to see.

  • Being seen happens when we can drop the filters of doing what is expected, what is normal, what is politically correct.
  • Being able to see another person happens when we can still our own ego andput attention on the other person and truly be curious about what they are sharing.
  • This openness creates connection, regardless of the affiliation, the kind of relationship, the sex, the age.
  • This is where we learn about unconditional loving Being able to go back and try again, finding the bond after working through a problem, trusting a relationship beyond a difference or a stage.

Intimacy is also about telling and hearing the truth.

How many of us have heard the sing-song conversation that goes something like this:
A: “How are you?”
B: “I’m fine.”
And then we spend time wondering what the answer was behind that answer!

  • Making truth-telling a practice creates intimacy and trust in a relationship.
  • Hearing the truth means dropping the need to argue, defend, or deflect the truth when someone shares.
  • Letting someone know that you want to share a truth with them gives them the feeling that it is something different from normal everyday conversation. It gives the receiver a chance to “buy in” and prepare to hear you.
  • Specificity gives the truth power and it requires nothing extra; no excuse, no explanation, no icing to lessen the potency.

To cultivate these deeply intimate, vulnerable, sometimes uncomfortable, amazing connections with others, begin to open and let someone see you….really see you, touch you, hold you.  Live fully in your truth!  In return, you just might receive a gift in return – the chance to see someone’s soul, to touch their heart, and to hold them close.

One Reply to “Hold Me, Touch Me”

  • I’ll bet there is a high percentage of people that will never be able to be that vulnerable, it’s just not part of their makeup as an individual. But wouldn’t it be wonderful if we could just lay down the voices that expect as an adult to be forever strong in the eyes of the world. I took my little daughter to one of those water parks when she was about 3. She climbed up the ladder of the little tykes water slide and was bound and determined to do it by herself. She stood at the top and just as she started to sit down her foot slipped and it scared her. Quickly looking around her she grabbed the hand of a little boy about her same age. They looked at each other smiled in excited anticipation and then slid down together laughing. That’s the ticket. Why can’t we lay all the bullshit, anger, hate, masks and false egos down? It’s just not that easy. I can understand why most people need a friendly hand to hold when they attempt it, When we come together as innocent children the persona’s are gone and the soul shines through.

    This page of the website draws the clearest picture of the concept of intimacy and how it is obtained.

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